i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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