hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
