It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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