Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize