If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
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i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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