So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
