I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
