you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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