i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
