remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
