Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize