Where did you get a picture of my penis
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize