I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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