Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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