He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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