If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
