she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
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Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
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Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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