I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
