Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize