I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
