he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
