I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize