He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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