I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
