I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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