The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
