she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary