Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot