It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
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The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
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You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So was this before or after he cried about trump?