I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
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When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
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There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED