so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low