also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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