We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
