I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
