That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
