butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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