It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
