I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I will be naked everywhere
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
