My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize