Barsexuality is the new black.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
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i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
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I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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