Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
