He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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