Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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