Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
