based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
