he wants to bone in the snuggie
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
