Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
How external is "for external use only"?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
