If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
