so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
