That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
