My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
