Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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