I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
