i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
