she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
