Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i wish my penis had a tongue
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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