It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Enjoy the penises
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
