I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize