I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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