i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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