I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
