i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
