saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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