I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
